


John Writes Some Letters

by Griever1337



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Sadstuck
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-01
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-10 22:59:10
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18670090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Griever1337/pseuds/Griever1337
Summary: You’ve never written a note so quickly, or with such clarity of heart and mind. When you’re done, you write nine more. Your hands leave grease stains on the paper.You leave ten envelopes on your bed, arranged in a tidy circle with the names of your ten closest friends written on them. Then, with absolutely no fanfare, you leave all of them and this idyllic world you’ve created behind and zap yourself back into canon.





	1. dear rose,

dear rose,

i guess this is it, huh? i'm going to go and fight lord english just like you said to do. and i have this weird feeling that i'm not going to see you guys again at the end of all of this. that's fine, though. if that's what it takes for everyone to live a happy life here, i'll do it. you and dave and jade and everyone...you deserve a happy ending.

i just wanted to say...sorry, i guess. sorry that i spent the last seven years moping and not being there for you or anyone else. and i'm sorry that i didn't do this sooner so that you didn't have to be so sick right now.

honestly rose, if you live out the rest of your life being happy with kanaya, then i think this is all worth it. and i think you knew what you were doing when you made this plan - you always do! which is why i think i can make this choice with as much confidence as i have. i mean, if you saw me doing great with all of this...then i can't really just let you down now, can i?

you've given me so much and now i think it's my turn to give back. but...i'm going to miss you very much. so i just wanted to say...

thank you for everything, rose.

your friend,  
john egbert

 

\---------------------------------

 

As you read this last letter, you instinctively try to call on some sort of emotional response. Sadness at your friend's death. Confidence that your plan ultimately worked out. Doubt that it didn't. But you can't feel anything about this.

And it feels so wrong.

If the robot body you inhabited had capacity for anything resembling regret, that's what you'd feel right now. And maybe you do feel it - all these remnants of emotions you used to have.

You're not entirely sure you want to keep being this cold, emotionless machine anymore.


	2. dear dirk,

dear dirk,

i guess it might be kind of weird getting this message? since i don't really know you all that well to be honest, but-

\-----------------------------

You stoically crumple up the piece of paper and toss it behind your spaceship’s god throne.

For a moment there, you were curious. There's not much for you to do on this ship as you speed off to your destination. Previously you paid John's notes no mind and didn't take even a cursory glance at them, even despite the control you had over the narrative. But your supply of reading material has dwindled, and your constant self-reflection can only satisfy you so far.

It wasn't like you were afraid, before, that something in those final letters actually had a message of substance. It's not like you were AFRAID that that bland, sky blue nobody would actually say something that could make you change your course - change your mind, somehow, on the myriad plans you had in store. And it's certainly not as if that fear had struck once more, like a vague psychological boomerang.

No.

John just didn't know a damn thing about you, by his own admission. So what does it matter what he said before he went and got himself semi-vored by a ripped hulking skullface alien man?

You clutch the throne's armrest, rest your head on your other hand, and exhale deeply, not realizing that you were holding your breath.


End file.
